Another life completely quite. Long walks in Hyde Park, writing on park benches or in tea shops, meeting foreign people on the bus. And that's it. Living by myself, thousands of miles away from friends and family.
But that whisper.....
It's been months since I heard that whisper. I mean what was I supposed to do when I heard God telling me, "This is a new direction you can take!" I'm almost 16, not old enough to do anything but drive with a parent and maybe get 12 hours a week at the grocery store (I still haven't gotten there yet...). I can't fly across the country to a different one to follow a whisper - at least not yet.
Urgh! I always end those sentences with a "at least not yet". It's frustrating and it gets me no where in these situations.
When I went to Disney World, in their Hollywood Studios park, there was like a whole spot dedicated to Animation. And I could have spent hours there - even days! There, you can learn how to draw by Disney interns and I had a blast. After drawing my first character, my dad kept telling me I should go talk to the intern guy. He finally convinced me and I came up to the guy.
"So what college did you go to?" I asked him. He named off some school but I forgot what he said.
"We've go a Disney fan in our family," my dad said patting my shoulder, "She wants to join your rank soon."
I was beaming. Me! Actually talking to a Disney intern. I had so many questions! I just couldn't wait to ask h--
"Huh! Good luck!" he said with a grumble.
"Oh," I said disappointed, "Thank you...?"
I knew that a lot of people don't really make it "up there" when it came to Disney. And he might have been one of them. I saw him two days later, wearing a janitor suit with a broom and a bucket.
How can I be sure that I won't be that guy? He was probably 5 - 7 years older than me and every Disney employee makes minimum wage. How am I sure I won't make it to an actual Disney Animator position?
But how am I sure I won't make it as a writer/author? They don't make much either.
I think what I'm worried about is time. I want to be young for everything! I want to work at Disney for a long time, like when I'm married and afterwards. But I want to live in England as a writer before I get married. And I think I know why.
A couple of months ago, my mom joked that 1/3 of her grandchildren would be British. She's convinced now that I will marry a British guy because I am in love with EVERYTHING British! And it's true. I've kind of liked that "joke" of mom's since she started it. Maybe that's another reason why I want to go to England before I get married. What if God wants me to meet my future husband in England? I have thought about that SO much. And it makes sense for some reason! I don't know.
I think I need to pray about this for a while. I can't do much at the moment right now, anyways. I need to pray for where God wants me to go, because I can't see everything right now. All I see is everything up close. But He sees the whole picture right now! I need to trust Him more.
Thank you guys for your prayers and comments. You are very dear to me and that's why I tell you guys these things. I hope the next few posts won't be as... depressing? Confusing? Or anything of the sort? I'll talk with you guys later :)
*Allie*
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